Monday, September 17, 2012


I like to think that most of my posts are productive and positive, but I am human and right now I desperately need to vent.
When do you get to an age where your parents stop thinking that all your decisions are wrong?
It amazes me that no matter how much I'm working, how busy I am, how much I try to push myself in the right direction, I still get told that I'm not doing everything I "should" be doing.
What is it with parents these days? Do they not understand that things are not the same as they were when they were our age? Do they not understand that they were saying the same things that we are saying to THEIR parents?
My parents are successful in every definition of the word. They have amazing careers and make good money and have always been able to provide for my siblings and myself, and we have never gone without and I am eternally grateful for that.
However I do not have my own family. I am not married, I have no children, and I really have no obligation to anyone other than myself and my bills. So am I really doing such a bad thing, just because I'm not pursuing my education or a job in the "traditional" manner?
The world is changing and evolving every day. My generation is actively working on making this world our own. Our own educational experiences, for example. Forging our own paths in the professional world, for another.
I have never been in real trouble, I have never harmed another human being, I am constantly working on finding ways to feel like I am making a real difference in the world, looking to make my life worth while. More than anything, I am so hurt by my parents and their lack of consideration that THEY RAISED ME. Do they not have any faith in the fact that while I may not be doing things their way, am I really such a failure as their daughter, as a human being, because I want to find my own path? Because my first priority is not just making money?
What a day. What a weekend. Maybe its really time for me to leave home and really pursue independence on every level.
Stay excellent.


  1. Edwina - I totally understand your frustration. You're right to note that there will never be a better time for you than this.

    But as a parent, I can understand their views on this, so let me try to represent them for you, not so much to persuade as to help understand.

    It is hard to describe how instinctively protective parents are of their children. I didn't understand it, until I became a parent. Although some part of you intellectually understands that your child has to grow out from underneath you, actually putting that into practice is incredibly hard. A large part of parenting is seeking that balance between protecting and letting go.

    I suspect that, in this case, it's the incredible amount of uncertainty that's driving your parents' concerns. Anything you can do to allay that uncertainty can probably go a long way. In my conversations with him, Jeremy laid out some really good thinking about what he wanted to do with the next steps in his education - something like that may really help.

    Thanks for allowing all of us to join the EZOs in your journey.

    Ray Kimball

  2. Thanks for your insight Ray!

    I think that even being my age, I definitely can understand that my parents merely want the best for me. More than anything they want me to be safe; and I know that they fear that without the proper tools I cannot make enough money in order to properly ensure that I will have food, clothing and shelter. I mean let's face it, money makes the world go round.

    However, it is harder being a legal adult and wanting to learn things my own way. While I know that they want me to be happy and safe, there is so much of me that wishes they had a bit more faith in my common sense as well as a bit more faith in their parenting skills. They raised me, and I want to think they raised me well enough to know what my basic needs are and how to meet them.

    At this juncture in my life, I understand where they are coming from, but I know that I need them to let go in order for our relationship to work. I feel that we are no longer parent and child, but two adults with conflicting ideas. However, to them, I am still their child.

    Thanks again for your input, it certainly helped! And I know that with me now moving out and having a more stable foundation of independence to stand on, I certainly hope my parents will jump on the bandwagon quickly.